Memento remember who you are
by Musamusa
Summary: Several years passed after the sudden separation from the youkai, and different circunstances show up at Rin's life as adult. There are some things that cannot be held in the past for a long time.


_Disclaimer: I do not claim the copyrighted characters of Inuyasha as my own. Kubayashi is my creation, though.  
_

**c h a p t e r 1**  
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A moment in her life meant more than an instant in the simple days passing by. For just a second, the priestess stopped her walk just to lay her back against a tree. She inhaled deeply into the forest air. The echo of a faraway bell danced around her ears, calling the sacred sound to wake the kami. And she opened her eyes.

Everything seemed different from this perspective now. Her life had changed for good. The cold nights in the grass under the stars were now replaced by the warm sheets of her bed, lulled by the sweet smell of the burning incense in a corner of the room, where the honourable altar remained with an ever-fresh modest flower arrangement. The bathing in the open with the always present danger of a pervert peeking from behind a tree was changed by the intimacy of the individual bath with the warmth of the shrine's heater consuming the wood. The food… when there was food, and when she could get any on her hunting under the rocks, in the mud, searching for worms and herbs. That was now replaced by the delicious cooking of the oldest Miko in their order. So much had changed.

The fearful girl who ran behind the majestic youkai was now the woman who imposed respect where ever she landed her step. The strong woman, secure, who only spoke when necessary, became an entire institution of herself, full of experience that her training carried through the ages under traditions and under the care of a group of similar beings who attended her every doubt, not that she asked too much, anyway. Almost eighteen years by today.

_/Where are you/_

The same question repeated into her head when she was taking a bath, praying with the others, or writing without any real cause, at least not that she knew. She wasn't missing those days at all, no. She was plenty sure of that. Yet the curiosity as to what happened to that initial group always hammered her, haunted her in her dreams without her knowledge. The decision of leaving wasn't hers entirely, but she was grateful for that. That day, the villagers were carrying her away; in the distance there was a red and white kimono, the same red that was tainting her hand, only different by a faint shade. The ground was warmer than usual, so it was surely summer, and her head was spinning and her focus was off. But they were carrying her from both arms, and her mouth was gaping yet no word came from her lips. The grass passed by, as if she was walking backwards, but she wasn't moving her legs, and the sun was burning her head. But when she was finally able to focus again, she saw the red and white colors, stoic standing, as if the other being could see everything much more clearly now. As if that other person was just observing that single second that was vanishing off their lives forever.

_Alone._

The young woman frowned the delicate lines of her brow and rubbed her eyes with her middle finger and thumb. From behind the thick eyelashes, a pair of brown almond eyes peeked into life. They didn't carry the innocent glitter of her childhood anymore. The shapes of round curiosity were erased by the gentle curve of the firm, stern glance of a woman of character and determination, but they were still there. Hers. Summer was dying in the land, meaning another year was almost over in the solitude of her afternoons in the shrine. Company was not necessary when you felt alone in your own world. Hers was a mystery to the rest.

_/Stand up./_

And she did. Whenever she felt the same dizzying thoughts, her head commanded her to go forth and keep the uncertainty behind. Never again could she depend on someone else's strength to survive because nobody likes a parasite, a marionette without salary to be manipulated into the abyss for the sole fact of boredom.

She heard the cracking of the wood in the corridor. It stopped, and then continued until it disappeared as soon as she stood from her bath. With a few drops sliding down her nude legs, she made her way to peek at the door. A pair of towels was left, just in case. A bathrobe, still warm, then covered her body and her short steps hurried towards her room. Before entering, she took her time to send a casual glance to the small garden they kept in the entrance. The camellias were still closed, perhaps tomorrow they'll bring their crimson beauty in the daylight, she thought. She loved those flowers, especially against the white of the snow. She could sit hours to look at them, even touch their petals from time to time. But whenever she did, she stopped, as if the velvety surface burnt her fingers. And the memories came again. Red and white.

Up in the sky, the pearl of the moon observed her, covering the young Miko with its halo of nocturne peace.

"But, why?"

He didn't flinch to look at her. His glance was concentrated on the line of the horizon, as if that infinite line could tell him the whereabouts of his next movements. He felt the tugging at his impeccable white haori, but he didn't move, "Not now."

The infant didn't bother him any longer. She knew that kind of reply well enough to recognise where a command was sent to her to shut up. Saddened, she only reduced her intrigue to her imagination, lulled by the stars of that cold night where her only cover was her petite orange kimono. The freezing air was digging in her bones especially that night.

Everything was prepared, and it was such a magnificent plan created by who knows which entity that there was no reason that could serve as irrefutable proof to ruin it. Rin was counting on the protection of the white monster since a couple of months prior, and her recognisable small figure ran right behind where the imposing youkai showed up. Perhaps that was the sensation of protection that tricked her when she couldn't react later, when she was being dragged off his side.

Her eyes opened and closed slowly, and like in dreams, she saw the shapes of three men getting closer in the night, then another two, and so on until she fully woke up and found a multitude of them. Suddenly, her vision was white. No. It wasn't her. It was the fine cloth of her Lord's attire, standing in front of her.

"This time, nobody will stop us" said the first man, while he was taking a tanto from under his sleeve. Immediately, the men behind him imitated his move. Chains noises, sharp blades, weapons, "She'll come with us"

What happened next was something she never expected to happen. The humans attacked first, which was a bad idea to try playing power against a full demon, and especially with Sesshoumaru being that demon. However, he didn't reply. He just remitted himself to evade and protect her with his own body and sword. Later, a blast of fire passed over her head lighting the entire valley. Jaken shouted some obscenities to them, and then something kicked her head. Everything was blurry and then the last images of the white haori going away, fading. The fire, the lost glance. Red and white. Night...

And emptiness.

It has been a while ago since she had that sensation in her body when waking up in the middle of the night. She was breathing hard, she had a buzzing feeling in her head and tears blurred her vision. Why? What was really going on?

Was it true what they said? Was it true that in fact he was exploiting her to use her as fresh meat to attract human victims and strengthen? Her memory was fresh, but the arguments the villagers gave her seemed to mix with her own doubts about why Sesshoumaru kept her by his side. About why he left a little girl live for so long. A toy? Was she simply a toy?

"Rin-sama" called the faint voice of a little girl behind the door, which opened after obtaining the permission of the room's owner. She was one out of the bunch of younger disciples, "Kubayashi-sama has come. It's urgent"

Her eyes made a faint movement towards the girl's direction. The girl at the door bowed her head down and subtly opened her eyes. The entire town said that one of these days Mr. Kubayashi would stop pretending to carry a correct religious life and admit that he was only visiting the temple to converse with the young Miko. This didn't affect Rin at all. Her heart was literally empty in such matter, and she was only dedicating her existence to become stronger and help those in need, fulfilling her obligations as maiden of the shrine. Perhaps her abnormally simple beauty brought the material for the romantic minds of the population, pondering about a Cinderella fairy tale, only to be complimented with an astounding wedding in his palace, sweet glances between the groom and bride, the people calling their names and a big blue sky until they reached their nuptial bed. Idiotic. Everything seemed very, very far away from Rin's aspirations in life.

The door slid over and the girl moved to the side on her knees to allow the svelte figure of the priestess enter, whose hair was loosely tied up with a red cord. The man in front of her was dressing an elaborated white kimono with embroidery in peach and gold. At his back, a waterfall of black silk was tied in a ponytail and his eyes were calm. Rin inclined herself to greet him.

"Forgive this intrusion. I didn't want to take you away from your dreams, Rin-san" he apologised.

The young woman reincorporated but didn't let anything show in her eyes, "It is no trouble at all. May I know the honour of your visit, my Lord?"

Just for a second, Kubayashi showed some disillusion in his attempt to see something else than her usual blank expression; yet he continued, "I came tonight because I need of your spiritual services. We've received attacks from certain demons in the stables and nobody could see a single thing. The animals were ripped apart, opened in pieces, and with no clue at all..."

"Can I ask why do you believe it's a demon?" she hurried to ask, a bit impatient to know what all the fuss about and return to her bed.

"Because our priests said they felt a strange presence after the incidents and also, one of them saw two forms moving towards the forest. As you might imagine, it's a suicidal idea to send my men without know what's going on"

"I understand." _/Two figures/_, she thought.

His eyelids lowered a bit and he approached a little making his rich clothes rustle at the movement, "Perhaps this is nonsense, but the priest said you could control the situation, because you've lived this before"

"Oh?" she knew there was something in the way and that it would be interesting. Why would he come in the middle of the night for a simple attack his entire personal army could handle? Kubayashi adopted a half-comical, half-serious position when he pronounced the following words:

"The youkai seemed to possess white long hair, and his company was a small, green being"

Rin didn't lose her composure. A lot of people filled the streets with rumours with the same speed the appreciating comments that were sent towards her. The flame of the candle placed between both flickered moving the shadows in her face. Her eyes stayed unmoving from Kubayashi's and she didn't say a thing until her lips moved to reply,

"I see"

In that moment, the young woman felt a strike in her heart. Her head instinctively told her that it was a job just like any other of her exorcisms previously done, but she knew, deep inside, that they were expecting something else from the experience. Kubayashi and his men didn't stop looking at her, waiting for anything else than a positive sign, and the girls behind the fine paper door curled together to listen to the minimum sound in the shadow of the corridor. She knew it wasn't his intention to put her in a delicate position just to test her character, but she was very aware that coming in the middle of the night for this was just a sign that he couldn't sleep at night, because he was in charge of his domain and the security. She was the most trained Miko in the area, and after the retirement of Inuyasha's group after the Shikon was restored, everything was close to peace until a couple of months ago. Why? Nobody knew. Rin knew the youkai were just bored and wanted to show off their immortality towards humans.

If it was Sesshoumaru, then there was something going on. The white demon wouldn't dedicate his time to play with horses just for boredom and to shoo some mortals for pure diversion. His nature, on the other hand, wasn't a forgiving one. Humans were less than dirt for him, and it was nearly impossible to know his plan to follow after just an attack on...horses? It was a test. The folds of her red Hibakama frowned as she clenched her fists at the sides on her legs.

Someone was playing with the strings of destiny.


End file.
